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The Value of a Mentor

“I was able to move beyond the adversity I faced, thanks to a combination of my own determination and the support of my boss and other mentors.”


In an Op-Ed published on August 9th, 2019 on the LA Times website, Kay Ramsey speaks the difference a mentor can make in a child’s life. She relates her personal story of having a mother in prison and being addicted to drugs, being in foster care until age three, and then having the good fortune of being adopted by a strong single mother.


After graduating high school and graduated with a four year college degree, which only 2.5% of those growing up in foster care achieve. But just before her college graduation, her life was turned upside-down with the passing of her adoptive mother, the newly acquired knowledge that she was the product of a rape, and discovering her biological mother did not want to meet her.


She says “For the first time in my life, I was completely alone. I was once again a motherless daughter.” She relates how her life has been influenced by a number of different mentors at different times and places. As she reflects on these important people she says “But I often wonder how different my younger life might have been if I’d had a mentor during my childhood as I was sorting through the emotions of adoption and being a product of the child welfare system.


I was able to move beyond the adversity I faced, thanks to a combination of my own determination and the support of my boss and other mentors. My experiences inspired me to become a mentor to other young women and to advocate for mentorship for children in foster care and other disadvantaged youth.”


She concludes by encouraging people to volunteer to be mentors to youth, citing different ways to become involved. She concludes by stating “Mentorship isn’t a cure-all. But it can make a profound difference in the life of a child who will suddenly feel less alone.”

We referenced the story above because it addresses one of the key functions of a mentor, to help those wishing to escape the trap of pornography use know that they are not alone. As with Ms. Ramsey, we believe that by a combination of determination and the support of a caring mentor, the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes needed to leave pornography use behind is possible.


Engaging a caring, non-judgmental mentor to help the person using pornography escape the “trap” is a core principle of the Freein13 approach. The role of a mentor is to provide support and accountability. To help the participant understand they are not broken, but rather trapped in a pattern of behavior that is detrimental to their happiness. They need a mentor they can trust and be held accountable to. They will share things with their mentor they may not share with anyone else. With true dedication of the mentor to the mentee, a mentor can do what John C. Maxwell described:


"One of the greatest values of mentors is the ability to see ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination."


Echoing Ms. Ramsey’s words we believe that Mentorship isn’t a cure-all. But it can make a profound difference in the life of a one desiring to escape the pornography trap.

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